Monday, May 12, 2008
9:25 AMstress level: WAY BEYOND LIMIT
current mood: SUCKY
jc life is really not as easy as i perceive it to be. i knew it was going to be tough but im really feeling the pressure now. far beyond what i originally expected. not knowing the subject at all makes thing worst. my dying relationship with God makes things even more worst. whatever it is im a confused kid beyond redemption. busy and drowned by work and study. i do balance with play but its just not enough. i need proper rest which i have not gotten since i got into canoeing. the worlds most demanding cca ever. but i got myself into this shit and i just have to live with it. people say i have changed. for the better or worst i do not know. i seem happier yet i feel much emo-er. thats an irony but thats how i truly feel. i emo about stress and about him. but i feel happy with my friends, my current life and also him. its a totally new life for me. i used to be a uknown kid in pl. now im now known as house cap and people actually gossip about me. materialistic i may be, but im liking this life not loving it. its nice to get some attention from people. attention i have not received in a long time. attention i feel that i deserve, well sometimes. for all the things a ive been through, not a single soul can comprehend. maybe a handful but none that i know of. so guys, friends who care and love me, im sorry for letting you down in certain areas of my life now. but i promise to get back on my feet. time is all i need.
they say loves a waste of time,
but im willing to invest that time.
have i really changed. i still feel the same. =(
oh. had a heart to heart talk with marc. he is nice. but he so needs to interact more with girls. confidence is key my boy! and try not to look blur. ask sean and he will gladly show you the ropes. haha! anyhow, thanks for listening to my rants. =)
training was hell!!! but im starting to get used to it. now all i have to do is curb with the tiredness after training. to stay awake and study for econs essay test tomorrow. im so friggin screwed. and i know it. li jian. you better get an a, you bragger! i refuse to call you shawn due to the rising number of shawns/seans in my life. so i prefer li jian or mutu! haha. dz you should really try to cut down on your debrief speech. im so dreading wednesday!!! haha. weixiong and i were like dying there lah. we timed you. you took 18 min to debrief. thats very long for half dead people who have to chiong spa and tests tomorrow.
timole. thanks for helping me with chem. i feel bad. but who cares lah huh!!
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