Wednesday, October 15, 2008
7:56 AM
was extremely bored after i got my mc and best bud was nice enough to come down. im not an ass, he brought his other friends along. so its not like we were alone. so whatever it is i waited for centuries for them in the photobooth. and headed down to bishan. stared at them 'studying' and ate my mango wrap and left. interesting bunch of people. haha. at least i had company. way better than being alone and think about the wildest things anyone can think about.

its amazing how my brain functions. im a positive person. i like to think that whatever happens to me is for the best and and i believe in it. yet, i always think of the worst that a situation can happen. i know it annoys hh and he is sick and tired of me thinking way too much. but seriously, what can i do. RAHHH! fed up already lah. i dont dare tell anybody how im feeling now. so im bottling it up inside. and its killing me. my real diary has not been updated for a long long time. i dont what to do. i really wish life was a fairytale. where there would be happy endings and happily ever after. but i know i have to face reality and life is just not like that. i miss you. although i see you around. i miss you. cuz i want to spend more time with you than just saying hi and bye. i want things to go back to what they once were like. but i know you are tired. and things will never be what it used to be. you made it clear. so wtf. i should just accept it. im no longer who i think i am in your life. i love you, that will never change.

i never should get an mc again. no matter how weak i am feeling. cuz i need to bury myself with work. i need to be busy. so i can stop thinking. and stop missing him. cuz im going crazy and i know nobody will understand why. cuz i cant say. and the only person who knows, doesnt understand what a big blow it is to me. i need to be busy. pw, mt, whatever it is. i need to get you off my head. just like what you are doing.

okie. emo-ing stops here. im looking forward to my break next week. i need it. i really do. i need to get away from this hell hole and just chillax. 3 days without any contact, with just my cousins by the beach and shopping. thats what i need. i dont have to worry bout you cuz im pretty sure your schedule is like packed anyway, which never really included me.

sorry, can i be vulgar for a moment cuz im really going mad. fuck it.

i just wished you would talk to me more, about yourself. cuz i realised i know nuts about you. damn it lah, everything become so complicated all thanks to me. i need to roar, RAHHHHHHHH!!

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
Romeo, save me
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HELLO EARTHLINGS! DENISE LOVES YOU. THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW :)
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